How to Kick Out a Housemate, Kindly

October 13th, 2011 by Caitlin Morgan| Posted in Apartment Guide, Apartment Living, Apartment Relationships, Roommate Court, Roommates | 1 Comment »

Sometimes, life throws us a difficult housemate.  (For examples, see our earlier post.)   Someone who wakes us up in the middle of the night, eats all our food, or just cannot converse openly—someone who drives us crazy.  In many cases, such circumstances are an opportunity to grow, to practice patience and learn to communicate with different kinds of people.   Once in a while, however, it’s safer to make a change and ask the housemate to leave.  It’s up to you to judge whether your home life has become that unbearable, but if the situation arises, consider the following as you proceed.

1. Make sure your housemate is aware of your concerns

Even if you live with the world’s craziest crazy, it’s hardly fair to act as though everything is fine until the day you say sayonara.   (Except, of course, if you are in danger—in that case, skip this whole post and go directly to the police, or someone more professional than a blogger.)   Your issues might be more easily rectified than you imagine when you’re hiding away in your bedroom, stewing and writing emotional journal entries.  Give the guy a chance.

2.  Check that the laws are on your side

There are a myriad of different legal situations possible here.   If you own the house, you may have to give your housemate an eviction notice.  If you both signed the lease on a rental, things are more complicated.  Do some research, ask experts, and bear in mind that you might need to move out.

3.  Secure your belongings

If you think there’s a chance that valuable items might be at risk during the fallout, lock everything up ahead of time, but be discreet about it.

4.  Have the conversation

Some sources suggest that you should invent a reason to ask your housemate to move out.  Others recommend slowly making him obsolete by excluding him from ever-increasing house parties.  When possible, though, honesty is also the best policy (“when possible” means, in this case, that there’s little chance of him getting so offended that he takes a machete to your furniture).   Explain that the living situation hasn’t improved enough regarding your ongoing concerns, and you think that both of you will be happier in the end if you make a break.

5.  Stay strong

Agree on a move-out date, and stick to it.  Even if everything has gone well—you’ve talked it out, you’re within your legal rights, no one owes anyone else thousands of dollars—take pains to ensure the process doesn’t stall.  This doesn’t mean kicking your housemate to the curb the next morning, but it does mean not giving in to hysterical crying sessions or excuses that he needs one more month to “figure things out.”

6.  For goodness’s sake, learn from your mistakes

Pick a better one next time, eh?